you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
