hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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