I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
