Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
