Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
