it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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