You're so nebulous sometimes
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
