Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
