Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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