don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Randomize
