When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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