Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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