his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
