Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
