Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?

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(713): View more from Texas

she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..

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(951): View more from California

His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him

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(816): View more from Missouri

TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.

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(813): View more from Florida

If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.

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(657): View more from California

He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"

(818): View more from California

this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!

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(980): View more from North Carolina

I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away

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