So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
