at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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