youre lurking in front of me
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
