Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
