apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
