If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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