I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
