quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
