The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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