It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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