I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
birth control should be required to get into college
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
