there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Houston, we have a squirter
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
