what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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