My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
