some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
