once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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