He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Randomize
