Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Can I color on your dick again?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize