I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
