he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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