Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
