My friends, they love my intelligence
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
