Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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