I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
