Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The beer is more important than you right now.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
