Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
