You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
