Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
