Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
