i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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