I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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