hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
