It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
