worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
No subtext here. People are naked.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
