JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
